The Unspoken Impacts of Divorce

Nobody Talks About the Impacts of Divorce – don’t even ask about Gray Divorce

“But I will. Because someone needs to.”

Everyone dreams at some stage in their life of achieving a goal, the dream may be as big as being an Olympian, a Rockstar or an anchor newsreader on prime television, or perhaps the dream is simply to get married and grow old with the love of your life.

Have you ever had a dream to be someone, or to live a certain kind of life and then, one day, that dream came true? Most elite athletes know their careers may only last ten years. Rockstar’s and newsreaders understand the spotlight can fade. But marriage? That’s the dream we expect to last a lifetime.

When you say “I do,” you don’t expect the dream to expire. You enter marriage believing it’s forever, because that’s what you have indicated in your vows.

Divorce is Simple Right?

Until I was divorced, I thought a divorce meant that a couple separate, they split assets and make agreements about the children and the pets and sometimes they felt blessed if they never had to go to the in-laws for dinner ever again.

How wrong was I, I was ignorant - not from arrogance but from a lack of truly seeking to ask people going through a divorce are you okay? Would you like to talk about it?

So, this is what no-one tells you;

I could go back through my journals from the beginning of my divorce and list every impact I felt, but honestly, the list would be exhausting.

In many ways, divorce reminds me of childbirth. You forget some of the pain, yes, but some of it stays etched in your body and mind, ready to resurface if you give it your mind’s eye.

Just like childbirth, the intensity of divorce is different for everyone. But the impact? That finds a way to touch nearly every part of your life, emotionally, financially, socially, spiritually.

And that’s what nobody talks about.

Diving a Little Deeper into each Impact.

Emotionally.

Divorce can send a person into overload, making a support network critical. You're not just losing a spouse. You’re losing your best friend, your everyday companion, and the life you built together. There’s pain watching the ripple effects hit those you love, especially your children. If they still live at home, divorce can mean losing time with them. It can also mean leaving the family home, dividing pets, and parting with treasured belongings, like holiday souvenirs and family photos. Even the furniture can become part of the grief.

Financially

The financial impact of gray divorce can be enormous. Some walk away with more than they started with. But many walk away with very little, and that changes everything.

Living arrangements, groceries, medical care. All of it suddenly feels uncertain.

Gray Divorce primarily affects Baby Boomers and Gen X. In both generations, many women took time out of the workforce or worked part-time to raise children. This has in many circumstances created a wage gap that is hard to fill and often a retirement that looks nothing like the one they planned.

A 2023 article by the Mercy Foundation, Older Women and Homelessness, highlights these systemic issues:

Women over 55 are at great risk of financial and housing insecurity due to systemic and

compounding factors such as:

• Lack of superannuation

• Working part time or casually throughout their lives

• Taking time out of the workforce to care for family

• Bearing the brunt of the gender pay gap

• An increasingly unaffordable private rental market

• Age discrimination

This group of women have suffered lifelong discrimination. Some were forced to resign when they married or were pregnant; financial discrimination meant that many were unable to enter into a home mortgage until the 1970’s; age discrimination means that older people find it difficult to find employment.

A life event such as the death of a spouse, serious illness, divorce or no-grounds eviction can push a woman into homelessness.

Older women and homelessness - Mercy Foundation

In Australia, we are fortunate to have systems that provide basic support for health care and

Centrelink payments, though often with strict eligibility. But in countries like the USA, many women who stayed home to raise families now face later life without even the basics, such as health cover.

Socially

Friendships fall away. Some people choose sides. Others simply drift, unsure how to relate to the newly single you.

Beyond your immediate family or lifelong besties, many divorced women find themselves isolated from the social circles they once belonged too.

I remember struggling to find common ground with couples who had been married for decades. My online dating attempts, solo travels or skydiving didn’t fit into their world. And honestly, their arguments about lounge suites and new paint colours didn’t interest me either.

Suddenly, I didn’t know where I fit anymore. And I know I’m not alone in that.

Spiritually

No one warned me about the spiritual unravelling that can come with divorce.

When my marriage ended, it wasn’t just the partnership that disappeared, it was the future I’d

envisioned, the journey we had left to travel together.

Who am I now? Why did this happen? Seriously what now?

My spiritual connection both in love and in life did not exist. I wasn’t sure whether to trust the Universe, the process or myself.

But something shifted in the quiet moments. On beach walks. In meditations. Through sound healing and tears. I began to hear a quieter voice.

My own. Maybe this wasn’t spiritual abandonment. Maybe it was a spiritual awakening, and this is how my souls’ purpose was meant to come to light in the form of a gray divorce.

Conclusion it has.

We talk a lot about divorce as a legal process, but we rarely speak about the impacts.

It strips everything back, and if It happens to you try and accept, choose to grow and let it happen and like a flower that blooms in Spring and one day you will see a new journey begins.

You are not too old; you can recreate and rise into a new life and you are not alone.

If this blog spoke to your heart, I’d love to hear from you in the comments.

You can also connect with me if you're navigating the quiet, painful, or powerful stages of divorce. I offer private mentoring for women ready to gently rebuild.

Author Bio

Lisa Keevill is the founder of Recreate & Rise, helping women 50+ rebuild and rise beyond Gray Divorce through coaching, community, and storytelling. Her work blends research, professional insight, and lived experience.

#RecreateAndRise #GoLisaGo #WomenOver50 #LifeAfterDivorce #graydivorce